What’s your name?
Alyssa: Alyssa Brown, although our former coworkers knew me when I was a Verner. I was happy to marry into the 4th most common last name in the US; Verner was apparently too difficult for some. Burner? Turner? Ferner? No one mispronounces Brown. And I’m married to Chris Brown, not the rapper. Also, I’ve already heard any Rhianna jokes that people are now mentally preparing. You’re not clever, people!
Emily: Hahaha, I knew writing with you would be fun. Thank goodness you aren’t married to THE Chris Brown. He’s not a good person.
Alyssa: He’s not. I hate it whenever that jackass comes up in the news.
How would you identify yourself to someone who doesn’t know you?
Alyssa: Secret Introvert. Sarcasm Aficionado. Anglophile. HR Lady. Although, really, I like Scotland more than England. Caledoniaphile? Is that a word? Spell check says no. Look, if Shakespeare can invent words, so can I. Caledoniaphiles are people who love and admire Scotland. Call Merriam-Webster and tell them to add it. (Note: Merriam-Webster is ALSO a fan of sarcasm.) How would YOU describe me?
Emily: I would describe you as a very funny HR lady, who is my subject matter expert on all things Royal Family. Avid reader. Delightful writer. Lives life to the fullest if I’m judging by what I see on the book of faces. I still remember when you were in a phase of publicly journaling everything you ate. You loved tomatoes, and ate them almost daily. I loved reading that shit.
Alyssa: My love of (obsession with?) tomatoes is still going strong! I can legit eat the 1.5 pound bowl of grape tomatoes in one sitting. I need to start journaling what I ate again because during the pandemic, I ate ALL THE COOKIES. So, I didn’t drink very much, and I wore jeans every day, but I was Cookie Monster Incarnate.
And thank you for the flattering description! I would say I live life to the fullest in between living life to the dullest. You know how they say “don’t compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel?” I’ve got a good highlight reel. The behind-the-scenes is a lot of loading the dishwasher and trying to find the motivation to exercise.
While we’re paying compliments, I’d say Emily Meadows is a completely hilarious keeps-it-real HR Lady who isn’t afraid to tell it like it is, and an authentic and caring mom who hasn’t yet lost her mind to the menagerie at your house. I also loved that time you befriended the crows in your backyard. (That’s not some sort of sexy metaphor, I enjoyed when you literally built a relationship with some neighborhood crows.)
Emily: The crows! That was super fun until I left for a week and they trashed my backyard because I didn’t give them their daily snacks. HAHA.
Joy and all
What brings you joy in life?
Alyssa: Well now that’s a good question, especially after the last two years. Pre-2022 me would have given a very different answer. I’m not sure if that’s because of the pandemic or because I turned 40. Probably both. I remember writing once that no one could PAY me to be 20 again, and that my 30’s had been so much better. You told me to just wait until my 40’s because they were even better than that.
Emily: I have been loving my 40’s because I think it’s a time when you REALLY begin to care less what others think, and that is so freeing. You know what you like and don’t like in all of the places that matter – and you advocate for yourself in a way that you never did before. Or maybe that’s just me.
Alyssa: Nope, not just you. Pre-pandemic me would have focused on work accomplishments more. I still really like what I do, I work hard at it, and at the same time I’m less focused on my occupation being the driving force behind how I define my identity as I get older. I LOVE how Europeans don’t ask people what they do for a living. One more reason to be a Caledoniaphile.
Emily: Interesting! I am still fairly focused on work accomplishments, because I can now SEE my retirement on the not-too-distant horizon (it’s actually fairly distant, but I can see it). I have this weird drive to make as much money as I can NOW because I don’t want to do this forever. But I’m about to turn 46 so maybe I’m a step closer to death than you are.
Alyssa: Nah, I’m still checking out my Roth IRA just like the rest of us. But I have the added benefit of no kids to clothe/feed/educate/bail out of jail so I can put all my disposable income towards vacations for the highlight real, retirement, and tomatoes. Mwah ha ha ha! I’d say that what sparks joy now is having a close circle of authentic, hilarious, non-dramatic friends and family, decluttered spaces, getting enough sleep, really good bed linens, audiobooks, and puzzles. (Yes, I promise I’m 40 and not 80.) And offering commentary on the outfits of Kate Middleton and Johnny Weir. That hasn’t changed.
The highlight reel
Emily: I am scared to click on the link for really good bed linens, because I would buy them. And I don’t need them. I’m to the phase of my 40’s where I’m regularly having night sweats. Not you yet? I need perimenopause sheets or some such. Moisture absorbing, antibacterial, keep you dry all night sheets. HOLY FUCK THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN AD FOR A MAXI PAD. Didn’t I just say I love my 40’s? I don’t love this part of them, although to be fair, I was having night sweats in my 30’s.
Alyssa: Perhaps I can interest you in some poor circulation to stay cool? Ahhh, the joys of being anemic. I can wear long sleeved pajamas under 3 sets of blankets in a 75 degree room. I wonder if menopause for me will just feel like someone turned the heat up two degrees. A girl can dream!
Emily: Your commentary on Kate Middleton and Johnny Weir is amazing, and note that being in your 40’s means you can CLAIM your habits like audiobooks and puzzles, and claim them hard. Cheers to that!
Alyssa: Okay, you’ve convinced me, I’ll say it loud and proud: I’m a lycopene-fueled, audio bibliophile dissectologist. What a fancy way to say that you can find me doing a puzzle while listening to a book and chowing down on some tomatoes. Gotta get those antioxidants to look good for the highlight reel!