Friends, Should We Expand the Family?

Brett and I get our COVID vaccine booster shots tomorrow, and I should be hydrating myself for the big event. Instead, it’s Friday night, and I’m drinking wine. I’m sitting in my warm little house, bundled up, braless, surrounded by family and pets. The newly bathed Pug has decided to nestle herself between Brett and the teen, which is a gift in and of itself. Wet Pug is not pleasant on the nose. And! I haven’t cleaned up cat or dog puke in, oh, 8 hours. Puke in this house happens daily.

I’m writing this post to 1) be thankful for the shit that I have, because we’re heading into Thanksgiving week; and 2) check with the readers in my life to see if we should expand our family and get a … fish.

HAHA.

What the hell is this post about?

Fish. And gratitude. Why a fish? I’m trying to find a gift that would actually surprise and delight Julia. She is the queen of consumerism, and somehow she always seems to have money to buy the clothes she’s hankering for, the candy she squirrels away in her room, and other odds and ends. She plans her year around birthday money, and holiday money, like no kid I have ever seen. If all else fails, she’ll ask for odd jobs around the house to EARN the money. <Note: chores are unpaid.>

Julia has a Christmas list that’s a mile long, and honestly, I don’t want to buy her anything on her list. What fun is that? Instead, I’m thinking about a fish. A small, cute little fish (or two) that will swim around a small, filtered, oxygenated tank full of plastic plants. Please note: Julia WANTS a fish, but prioritizes clothes and other material goods over it.

Here’s the conundrum, Julia is at her dad’s house half of the time, so who would be caring for the fish when she’s gone? Me, myself and I. Let’s be real… while I’d call it Julia’s pet, it would really be a family investment of sorts. We already have 4 very needy and very barf-prone pets. Do we need MORE?

Brett thinks I’m crazy, and the ex smartly declined to ‘host’ a fish at his house.

I think I’m going to do it. We’ll put the fish tank on a cart that will let us wheel it in and out of Julia’s room, because I don’t want our little fish friends hanging out alone in the dark, by themselves, when she’s gone. Am I crazy? Yes.

Also, gratitude? That my ex and I can laugh about stuff like this (the drum set that Finley wants would fit MUCH BETTER at the ex’s house, hahahaha), and that Brett is a willing participant in this zoo of a life I’ve created.