HOLY FUCK people, I can’t believe that 2021 flew by so quickly. It was a big year here, but I’m not going to talk about all of the normal shit because who needs to read that? If you have read any other posts in this blog, you know about most of the big stuffs that happened to me in 2021. No, I’m going to talk about the smaller shit that was still very meaningful.
I got eyelash extensions and I loved them.
Yes, that is written in the past tense. I took out the lashes last week because they were expensive, and I wanted to give my real, actual eyelashes a break. I emerged from the eyelash removal appointment blinking like a hairless mole rat in the sun. Please Google ‘hairless mole rat’ for the visual. Julia, the 11 year old, exclaimed in horror when she saw me.
Story time! The other day, Finley was asking me if someone was a demigod, half god, half mortal. For the life of me, I can’t remember who we were talking about, but it probably had something to do with The Rock. I’m just sayin’.
Hold on, while I fan myself and speak in a Southern accent. Phew!
I realized that the reason I loved those damn lashes was because they made me feel like a demigoddess. I could literally roll out of bed and look like I was ready to walk out of the door of my house. NO MAKEUP, NO FUSS.
Getting a little deeper, in the time of our lives when we, as middle aged women, get less and less visible to our fellow humans, the gorgeous expensive lashes made me feel seen again. That is a powerful elixir right there. Does this mean that the lashes will come back in 2022? We’ll see. The oldest teenager said she’d teach me how to use fake ones, and promised that the eyelash technology has gotten pretty good. If I can be a demigoddess occasionally for less cost, I’m in.
Millie, the mini GoldenDoodle, decided that she likes to snuggle.
Last year we got caught up in the puppy craze, and allowed the oldest teenager to talk us into adopting (buying) Millie. We had three sweet and slightly psychotic pets that all lived in our house in harmony, so why not add a fourth? Millie arrived, and she was the cutest little nugget, ever. She looked like a living teddy bear.
We integrated Millie into our family, and soon realized (with horror) that she growled if you touched her when she was sleeping. What the fuck? If you sat next to her during a nap, she would GET UP AND MOVE. HAHAHAHAHA. I mean, you do you, dog, but most pets appreciate that a perk of being a domesticated animal is the free massages. Not Millie.
Millie turned one in October 2021, and something clicked. One day she just snuggled up to one of us and let out a little sigh. I’m pretty sure that we yelled to each other, “come, look! Millie is TOUCHING ME!”
People, this makes all the difference in the world. Millie may still be VERY SPECIAL (barks, resource guards, chases cats, growls at small children), but now she likes a full body rub down as much as the next dog. It’s a glimmer of hope that with time, and more expensive training, she may eventually chill the fuck out.
I really don’t like succulents.
Yes, I said it. WHY DO I HAVE THESE PLANTS? I’ll tell you why. In 2021, I was gifted a succulent arrangement. I didn’t even like it when it arrived, but like any good human – I vowed to keep it alive. Fast forward, and I now have 6 pots full of succulent bits and pieces, because of course I do. I am spawning new succulents, experimenting with the old ones, and have grow lights and special cactus soil for them.
Why. WHY. They do not bring me joy.
If 2021 taught me anything, it’s that I enjoy outdoor gardening way more than indoor. And yet, I have one mysterious mint plant in a pot, and just recently bought Pilea plants. I think that someone has taken over my body and is using it for their own gardening satisfaction.
That’s all for now. I’m sure I’ll have some bullshit New Years post about a vision board for 2022 or some such. I mean, 2021 was a year. 2022 will be another year, and more life will happen. That’s about as exciting as it gets!
Love, Me