To launch this blog in the most official way possible (a ribbon cutting, if you will), I thought I’d go to the person with whom this entire idea started – Brett Hovenkotter. Brett is my partner, my COVID-quarantine lockdown housemate, the guy who has voluntarily put up with my feisty independent ways, and the string on my balloon. A colleague of mine called him my main squeeze, and that feels appropriate, although I’m guessing he’d prefer to be called my only squeeze.
What’s the premise of the blog? It’s a place where I’ll share conversations I have with friends. We’ll be real, sometimes too real, which will be part of the fun. Does this mean that some of my friends may want to stay anonymous? Yes, and that’s fine with me. I’m happy to be myself in this space, but I understand that not everyone is as comfortable with oversharing as I am.
Disclaimer: if you can’t handle bad language or references to sexual, ahem, activity (hi, kids!), you probably want to stop reading right now.
The questions…
What’s your name?
Brett Justin Hovenkotter
How do we know each other?
Brett: We both swiped right.
Emily: In a nutshell, yes. For those of you who care, the app was OKCupid, and I was just looking to start dating again. What I didn’t realize was that my profile, which stated “not looking for anything serious” and “just looking for someone to grab wine with,” was actually dating app morse code for, “DTF.” I’m not that kind of girl (I aspire to be, but I’m just not), and I really had no clue. I’m fortunate that I bumped into Brett out there in the great wilds of the world wide web.
If you were granted god-like powers for a week, what would you do with them?
Brett: Because I love my country, I’d start by eliminating the Electoral College (replacing it with a simple popular vote), end gerrymandering, make the representation of the Senate more proportional, end the filibuster, limit Supreme Court Justice terms to 18 years and have them appointed by a non-partisan counsel.
Next I’d take excess carbon out of the air and add incentives to every country on Earth to decarbonize ASAP.
Then I would alter human DNA so that sugar didn’t make us fat.
Emily: OMG. HAHAHAHA, I love this. I’d fund your DNA work if you broadened it to include bourbon, wine, and french fries.
What brings you joy?
Brett: Finding or creating a technological solution to a problem in my life. Traveling to fun places with loved ones. Watching my kids succeed at something. Going to see an interesting movie and then analyzing the hell out of it with friends. Spending a romantic night with my boo.
Emily: I think I need to get on the ‘see an interesting movie and analyze it with my friends” bus. That sounds fun. I seem to have lost my attention span for movies, and am only willing to invest the time if it is a comedy, has actors who are on my *list* in it, or is less than 2 hours long.
What brings you pain?
Brett: Seeing loved ones being unhappy. Knowing that so many people believe lies that harm themselves and the people around them.
Whenever I am told that I need to send a fax.
Emily: WHO THE FUCK STILL FAXES? More people than should be allowed, that’s who. And don’t get me started on the state of our country and the many people in it who have disappointed me over the past year. I just can’t.
If you could go back to a specific time in your life to change something, what would it be?
Brett: Oh man, there are so many moments in my life that cause me to cringe when I think about them, but right now I am happy, so I wouldn’t want to make any changes that could potentially spoil that.
Emily: That’s lovely! I’d go back to high school, and after plucking my eyebrows thoroughly, would suddenly realize that I was really very beautiful and should try to have some self confidence. I didn’t find my self confidence until, gee, senior year of college maybe? That’s 21 years of feeling less-than. Ugh. Why the fuck do we let that happen to us? I look at my kids now and I try to ensure I’m raising them up rather than bringing them down. They are gorgeous and I want them to know it. Ask me about the time my mother pinched my hip and made a comment about how she was glad that swim team was starting up again because I had a little extra fat there. Oh. Em. Gee.
Whoops! Back to you, Brett.
What has gotten better with age, in your life? Why?
Brett: I know myself so much better now. When I was young I stressed about where I was going and how I would get there. Now I’m in a good place and I know that it’s not worth getting overly anxious about anything. I’m focused on achievable objectives that experience tells me will actually improve my life, I’m no longer chasing a fantasy.
Emily: What fantasy? You can’t leave us hanging.
Brett: By fantasy I meant a perfect life or that any particular goal or purchase would be the end-all-be-all. I often lust after a big purchase or the thought of an amazing vacation, but now I know to have realistic expectations and that there will always be something new to lust after later.
Emily: Speaking of lust, my answer to what has gotten better with age in my life? Sex. I’d trade 20’s years old and clueless with 40’s years old and informed/armed with vibrating devices, any day.
Brett: This statement is very on-brand with the title of this blog 👆🏻