Julia, My Mini-Me, My Little Love – Part 1

By way of explanation for this post, I’ll start by sharing that I was adopted as a 6-month old baby in the state of Virginia. Being adopted, I grew up with the mystery of my origin and longed to have someone who looked like me in my life. I wanted children, adopted or biological, but the draw of biological children came with a hope that I’d create a little human that looked like me. So then, when I married and had baby #1, the baby (Finley) popped out looking like a tiny clone of my ex-husband. I will admit to you now that I probably shook my fist at the universe from my hospital bed, haha. 

When baby #2 arrived (Julia), she didn’t really look like anyone in particular. She had sweaty palms and clammy feet and her facial expression was best described as grumpy. HAHA. As she grew she turned into a little… me. The first hint was definitely the sweaty parts, because me too sis, me too. But, over time I think it’s really the shape of her face that makes her look more like me than her father. My inner adopted kid has secretly been thrilled every time someone says, “she looks just like you!” 

Julia has been a firecracker since she learned how to communicate. The irony is that she was the most chill baby ever, eating well, sleeping well, and just generally being adorable. And then she learned to walk and talk and the sass settled in early. She’s so darn strong, and her father (my ex) and I vacillate between trying to have some discipline with her while also allowing her strong self to blossom. It’s not an easy balance.

So here we are, with Julia as my second blog post. My little 10 year old ‘teenager’ (she acts like one except when she doesn’t) who is the light of my life and the pain in my side.

Emily note: I had so much good stuff from my interview with Julia, I’m creating a Part 2 blog post.

The Questions

What’s your name? Julia Elizabeth Meadows

How old are you? 10 years old 

What have you learned during the pandemic? 

Julia: How to do better make-up, like eyeliner and more natural make-up. I used to think you needed to do, like, dramatic eyeshadow. But you don’t need to. 

Emily’s Point of View (POV): Yes! She is a 10-year old whose make-up rivals mine. This seems unheard of, except that it isn’t. It is a pandemic study of kids with too much time on their hands.

Where did you learn it? 

Julia: People online making videos of what they do for their make-up and I put those together into mine.

Emily’s POV: It’s called YouTube, the only social media site she has access to and where she spends a lot of time. But during the pandemic I have let go of any standards I held previously because we have been all about SURVIVAL instead of PRINCIPLES. Between YouTube and Roblox, Julia could seriously have designed her own website at this point with the amount of time she has spent on a device. So yes, my daughter is now a mini make-up artist, a 10-year old esthetician who thankfully has abandoned the smokey eye for a dewy natural look. I say this as one of her human models; I like dewy and natural better than zombie mommy any day.

Getting Deeper

Do you believe in love? 

Julia: <shrug> Kinda. I feel like I don’t believe in relationships lasting for forever because in my opinion you don’t stay a couple, you just become best friends. And you don’t notice it when it happens. You can stay with a person for a while but you might not be in love with them anymore. You might enjoy being with them still, just not in a relationship. 

Emily’s POV: Oh lawd, what to say to this? She is basically describing the trajectory of the relationship between her father and me. We loved each other and then we grew apart. Oof. This is what therapy is for, right? On the one hand I want her to have more optimism about love than what she states above, while on the other hand, the girl isn’t wrong, is she? Does love last forever in relationships, or does it evolve into friendship, or WHAT? I don’t know, people. I’m still learning this shit myself.

What are you scared of? 

Julia: Bugs, spiders, the dark (afraid of what’s in it), deep lakes, oceans, ponds where I can’t see the bottom. I’m also scared when I’m just alone in general. I tend to overthink things when I’m alone. 

Emily’s POV: Same girl, same. I have gotten way less scared of bugs and spiders since moving here to the Seattle area. The first house we rented had been empty for a while before we moved in, and I have literally never seen so many spiders in one place. I learned that day that I should always hire a cleaning crew to clean a house before I move in, because instead I did it. With a 2 year old and 4 year old, and no heat inside, running to the store to buy cleaning materials because ours were packed. NEVER AGAIN. Anyhoo, after murdering all of the house spiders, and such, I wasn’t so scared anymore. Note: no spiders on the outside of the house were hurt. Also note: I haven’t seen spiders the like of what existed in our old neighborhood before or since, they were huge and juicy and they really loved that house.

Do you think of yourself as stubborn? 

Julia: It depends on what it is. I don’t know what I’m stubborn about but I would say that I am pretty stubborn. Sometimes I’ll just go along with it, eventually. 

Emily’s POV: She’s stubborn as fuck. I generally take the approach where I plant the seed of the idea and let it simmer for a bit with her. Her initial response is often ‘no’ unless it was her idea. But often the ‘no’ softens. It’s rare that I give her an ultimatum, but sometimes I do and if she still refuses, then her devices are mine. Mwa ha ha.

Example of Julia’s stubbornness pictured below. We all went on a long walk, and Julia insisted on wearing crocs. Of course she got a blister in said crocs. I realized the last quarter of the walk would be miserable if Julia was miserable, so I got creative.

Dog poop bag repurposed as a sock:

Click here for PART 2.