*What’s your name?
Yawa Helen Duse-Anthony
*How would you describe yourself?
Yawa: Recovering Catholic, mom of two crazy boys, math lover, animal lover, loyal friend.
Emily: Yes yes yes, I love the loyal friend part because that describes you very well. I hadn’t realized you were a math major in college, either. You mathy people amaze me. I use Google and a calculator and I still get the maths wrong.
The questions
*Can we please start with one of the funniest things you’ve ever taught me? I think we need your official definition of the following, ‘toxic dick’.
Yawa: LOL. It’s that guy who makes your eyes roll back in your head when you have sex but has no long term potential for anything else. Poor people skills. Maybe no job. Most likely a Scorpio.
Emily: A Scorpio? HAHA. Here’s how the Urban Dictionary defines Scorpios:
“Scorpio is the symbol of sex… Scorpios are passionate lovers, the most sensually energetic of all the signs. For them, union with the beloved is a sacrament… Their overriding urge in loving is to use their power to penetrate beyond themselves and to lose themselves sexually in their partners in an almost mystical ecstasy, thus discovering the meaning of that union which is greater than individuality, and is a marriage of the spirit as well as of flesh.”
Phew! That is some powerful shit. Whoever wrote that blurb managed to use the word ‘penetrate’ and hahahaha. Well done, writer, well done.
Yawa: Luuvie Ajayi has a whole chapter in her first book on dudes with magic peens and no other prospects. She agrees that Scorpios made up the majority in her experience. Mine too!
Emily: Note to self, pay more attention to Zodiac signs. I am listening to Luuvie Ajayi’s new book “I’m Judging You” on Audible right now, on your recommendation.
Yawa: That book is laugh out loud funny.
Online dating
*Dating is hard, especially when you have kids. How have you met some of the people you have dated?
Yawa: Truth! Online exclusively as I have never been a bar chick. Some of these sites are downright scary. I have stories that require at least one bottle of wine or several bourbons. Two words – adult diaper. Over time I have learned the online code so I can ferret out the dudes that live in their mom’s basement, are married, or are looking for first experience with a black girl. Hard pass.
Emily: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Did you say adult diaper? You have to tell us more.
Yawa: I now understand why there are adult sized diapers with Disney characters printed on them… every single picture he has was of him in diapers! And he legit asked me (online because no way was I meeting this fool) if I liked changing diapers!
Emily: OMG. That wins the internet.
*Any funny stories related to your dates/dating?
Yawa: see above.
Also I met my ex husband when my blind date did not show up. One guy tried to crack my knuckles. WTAF was that? So, not so much funny as ridiculous…
Emily: I went on one date with a guy who totally catfished me. He said he was a doctor and his online pictures were real cute. But when I met him at the wine bar, he was NOT THE GUY IN THE PICTURES. He was older, much older, and not cute, and he was boring as hell. I didn’t know how to handle it, so I had a glass of wine with him (which he didn’t offer to pay for), and then left as quickly as I could. I told him I didn’t think we were a match, but he still asked me on a second date. NO.
Yawa: BRUH!!! Oh hell no on the old pictures or catfishing. I would have turned right around and left!
Emily: I should have asked him what his sign was. Probably one of the boring liar-y ones.
Marriage is…
*Would you ever like to remarry?
Yawa: I was just talking about this! I don’t think so. In the last eight years I have really enjoyed making decisions on my own – some not so good but I only have myself to blame yeah? And it would be hard to fold someone into our home as it has been the three of us for so long. I struggle even with the idea of someone moving in actually.
Emily: I used to be a hard no. Now I’m a, “not unless the institution of marriage changes entirely” which seems like a pretty high threshold.
From Botswana to Maine
*More seriously, you were born and raised in Botswana. How on earth did you end up at Colby College in Maine of all places?
Yawa: it is crazy from the outside isn’t it? A lady came to my private high school in Botswana – shout-out to Maru-a-pula- and she represented a variety of small liberal arts colleges including Colby, Wellesley, Macalester, Bryn Mawr and Mt Holyoke. I fell in love with the campus from the brochures and my Dad agreed that I could come! I got into Wellesley too but he was scared of me being so close to a big city. 🤣 And on the taxi ride from the airport we stopped at LLBean as it was clear I had no idea what the winters were like.
Emily: Waterville, Maine winters are no joke when it comes to cold and snow. And there’s nothing like bundling up to go to a dining hall, only to have to strip down because it’s hot and muggy inside.
*But then you stayed in the U.S.!
Yawa: Yes! I loved it here and I made some really good friends, ahem. And then I got married and children make you put down roots. Plus my mom moved to Ghana and I am happy to visit but cannot live with rolling blackouts and stupid pricing on essentials. I send her money each month so she is essentially retired. I need her to come for a long visit so she can get to know the American grand babies.
Emily: Ooo yes, it would be amazing to have your mother spend time with your boys.
What’s next?
*I’ll ask you what I asked Holly, as you look forward to the next half of your life, what is something (or multiple things) that you want to do/see/accomplish?
Yawa: Oof. I want to make sure my boys are set and functioning members of our society. And, I would really like to do some volunteering with foster kids. I debate internally off and on if I could handle being a foster mom but my boys suck the life out of me sometimes. Maybe respite care now that mine are older?
I would love to travel more too – I have a list of places that include Egypt, Greece, France and lots of islands.
Emily: All of this talk of travel has me chomping at the bit to get out of dodge. I love it.
Yawa: Thank you for having me. This was so much fun!
OMG!! Thank you for making me belly laugh today. This blog was EVERYTHING. Adult diapers and holy shit I need to find more Scorpio’s apparently. So, now “what’s your sign baby?” is back on the table. LOL!!