I’m Feeling a Writer’s Retreat Coming On… (Brooke, Part 2)

Hi friends, catch up on Part 1, here. I am posting more because Brooke and I have a lot to talk about.

The questions, continued –

Emily: I have always thought of you as a writer. I have a vision of you holed up somewhere with nothing but seltzer water, warm clothes (because in my vision, you’re somewhere cold like Maine, where you live), and your laptop. I LOVE THIS VISION and would want to join you at this mythical location. Except, I don’t know if this is even your thing. Longest question ever. Is this your thing? 

Brooke: Dude, this was my identity for SO. LONG. In high school, I was convinced that I was going to write the next Great American Novel. Or at least something worthy of publication. Books and writing, that was my jam, 100%. 

As a kid I had my silly, little elementary poems published in the newspaper and even won a creative writing contest in school where my book got bound & displayed at the local library. I escaped into books and wove a safety blanket around me with words. It was who I was at my core.

Emily: Okay, that’s just beautiful, that safety blanket. I did the same, I would escape to my room with a book. Once, at a yard sale, I was allowed to buy a moving box full of Harlequin romance novels for like $5. I read each one of them and DRANK THEM IN. I mean, they are crap writing but they were total escapism. So, what happened?

Brooke: And… then I grew up. I had to get a job and instead of moving to a city that supported a publishing industry, I stayed here in Maine and worked at a bookstore. And then I worked at a library. Then I got a more “corporate” job & stayed with that for 11 years. I lost touch with that sense of myself and started to feel that writing was WORK. It was hard. And it became unenjoyable.

It was a difficult process, unbecoming the person you’ve worked your whole life to be. 

Your vision, the one about me holed up in the woods wearing flannel & writing? It was something I dreamt about for so long, that losing that dream…I felt…untethered. Completely anchorless. 

Emily: Fuck, girl. 

Brooke: I think, in part, it will always partially be my thing, but it’s no longer THE thing, my biggest defining drive. I’ve gotten to where I can reflect on that younger me with kind of a melancholy nostalgia, missing her, but allowing her to go.

Of course, every once in a while, the writing bug bites me & I have to reevaluate everything all over again!

Emily: YES, Um, also, for some reason I see you either writing Young Adult fiction about gay teens, or really juicy erotica. I realize this is random. HAHA!

Brooke: For a while, even after I gave up my Grand Writing Dream, I thought about starting a series of early reader books that incorporated portrayals of gay families. The story lines wouldn’t revolve around the queerness; it would simply be a fact of life (LIKE IT IS). I am aware that so many kids (kids like mine) don’t see many representations of their families out in the bigger world. 

So I guess that’s maybe a back-burner dream? I am a HUGE fan of YA lit, especially queer-themed, but I don’t know that I have the focus to write a whole novel. And while I can read juicy erotica, the thought of writing it makes me blush.

Brooke flips it and asks me a question – haha, weird

Brooke to Emily: Here’s a question for YOU, my lovely, if you had the opportunity to start your own business, what would it be? For real, I am honestly curious; I feel like you have grown into yourself so much since college, and I love this bold, outspoken, and genuine you.

Emily: Oooo, you flipped it around on me! Welp, I am, it turns out, a fairly driven person. I was raised with some abandonment issues, so I have pushed hard on my career to get where I am today (and to be financially independent), without being an asshole about it. But I do have things that I love to do, if I had the time and money. 

I have always wanted a part-time job as a Starbucks Barista. It looks like a fun job (but I could just be smoking crack). I’ve also always wanted to turn my people skills into a job in Real Estate, despite the mathy parts. And I’d love to tinker my time away writing (as one would do while working on an old car). The writing dream is new for me. I found my voice (as you referenced above), and realized that I really enjoy it.

I have never wanted to own my own business, but I could totally see myself piecing together something for an early retirement where I combine the above three items. And, like you, I don’t need to be famous or to write a bestseller. I just want to feel joy and fulfillment. 

Finley still asks me about the state of my pandemic romance novel, which I stopped writing around chapter 8. I want to finish it, just to have that feeling of accomplishment (and to show my kids that I followed through).

What is next?

I’ll ask you what I asked Holly and Yawa, as you look forward to the next half of your life, what is something (or multiple things) that you want to do/see/accomplish? 

Brooke: My biggest focus is going to be getting PippiLu off the ground & hopefully taking it to the next level. That’s where I’m headed, even though I don’t know what that looks like. To that end, allow me one indulgent moment of unabashed self promotion: if you’re looking for unique gifts for those hard to shop for people on your list, head on over to pippilu.com. More fun items coming soon, and I am also open to special orders. 

Emily: Yes, buy from her please. I have made many posts about her work over the years, but my absolute favorite is my mini-wallet. Next I have her making me a giant beach bag that I’m super excited about. 

And one extra question, just because… 

Do you still love ketchup?

Brooke: YES. And I seem to have passed that love on to my kids, who have come up with new (& disgusting) ways to eat it. Among their favorites? American cheese (blech) and ketchup on white bread. Cold, not grilled. Just a gross, slimy sandwich. 

Emily: Ew. But hey, my mother told me that she used to eat brown sugar sandwiches (white bread, butter, brown sugar), and even more shockingly, Hershey bar sandwiches (white bread, butter, Hershey chocolate), so maybe your kids have learned that you can make anything into a sandwich if you try hard enough.